Better Living Through Fermentation

Coping with loss is the most important life skill to master for a guy like me. Drugs and alcohol work most of the time. I'm not able to use as many drugs as I would like because the local dealers won't sell to me being that I'm such a loser. So after I got fired today, I did the only reasonable thing for a man in my position; I bought a gigantic bottle of cheap whiskey with no chaser (you know, because I'm broke and need to be more financially responsible). The first swig of cheap booze is always the worst. Your throat burns, your nose wrinkles, and your eyes begin to water. That's why I always chug five or six shots all in a row before doing anything. Today I chugged 8, then I was good and ready for the drive home.